The Gift of Giving

What the Experts Say About the Gift of Giving

I loved this article from The University of Berkeley’s Greater Good Magazine, Science Based Insights for a Meaningful Life, Five Ways Giving is Good for You.   The authors cite multiple research studies that validate the benefits of giving and gratitude.  I was particularly drawn to the idea that there is a ripple effect of giving.  When we give, we inspire others to give, and on and on.

In “Money Spent on Others Can Buy Happiness,” Michael Norton, Ph.D. at Harvard conducted a series of studies demonstrating increased happiness when people spend money on others versus themselves.   “This study addressed a paradox that economists have talked about for a long time — that increases in income don’t tend to lead to big increases in happiness,” said Norton. “People buy bigger and bigger houses, but they don’t seem to get much happier as a result.”

Dr. Norton surveyed 632 men and women on their spending practices, how much money they spent on themselves including expenses and how much they spent on gifts for others and to charity.  Then they rated their level of happiness.  The findings showed that people who spent more money on others were happier.

Two other studies also concluded that people who give to others are happier and revealed that money doesn’t buy us happiness when we spend it on ourselves, but we are much happier when we give to others.  The study begged this question, however.  Are happier people more giving or does giving make people happier?

The Joy of the Gift of Giving Lasts Longer Than the Joy of Getting

I learned a new term researching gift giving and happiness, hedonic adaptation.  It is the notion that no matter what makes you happy, eventually you will tire of it.   In The Joy of Giving Lasts Longer Than the Joy of Getting, giving to others may be an exception to this rule.  Repeated studies clearly indicate that giving induces more happiness than getting and supports the old adage, “It is better to give than to receive.”  The investigations also make one wonder if happier people give or if giving makes them happier or are the two ideas interchangeable?

Consider reviewing the Sage Journal research data that indicates giving is resistant to hedonic adaptation.  People Are Slow to Adapt to the Warm Glow of Giving.  Fascinating stuff.

On the Other Hand

So how could giving go wrong?  Choosing the wrong gift, spending too much on one, using gift giving for ulterior motives such as trying to win someone over, getting caught up on giving the most unique gift (ugh, that’s me right there), and overthinking it.   And what about people who don’t like receiving gifts?  Some of those reasons might be that they feel they should reciprocate and don’t want to (or can’t), they feel guilty, they’re embarrassed to receive things from others, they don’t like the attention, they feel unworthy.

One reason I read about was that people are afraid they’re going to get something they don’t like and then they’ll be embarrassed, they might have to fake it.  I understand that.  If you receive a gift that does not represent you, you might feel misunderstood.  “Why would they think I would like or want that?”  What about the people who have everything and want nothing?  Should you buy them a gift?